These Wounds Will Not Heal
by Spicers Apple
Summary: Piers is worried about his Captain. Chris has been in a coma ever since that certain Napad attacked him, and won't wake up. Piers stays with him in the hospital and learns some things about Chris' past that hurt him deeply- Chris has someone dear to him in his heart, and it isn't Piers. PiersxChris, ?xChris. Rating now M for adult content
1. Chapter 1

Full-sized cover pic here: (delete all the _ to see the link)

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(I have a dilemma. I have the first three chapters of this already finished and can upload them, but I don't know if I should all at once. Whatever the readers want, I can do. This story came as a byproduct of my PiersxChris AMV, which you can watch here

youtube._com_/watch?v=YIe26esxkwo

to give you an idea of what this story could be about in the end. You might get some hints about it in the first three chapters, but the fourth which I'm working on now definitely references it.

By the way the video isn't finished yet but I've been working on it for the last week and a half so I thought I might as well show everyone what I have done so far. Also I have a big problem with never finishing any of my stories so I apologize if something like this happens and I don't update for a really long time after a while :()

I wanted to experiment with the idea of "Can Piers really keep his cool under all situations?"

I will show a different side of Piers' and Chris' personalities that isn't elaborated on in the game. But before you think they are acting out of character at times, think about this. Piers was always strong. It never hit him as hard as it hit Chris when their soldiers were dying all around them. BUT.

What if Piers stayed in Chris' room with him in the hospital, before Chris could have a chance to escape after that certain Napad's assault gave him PTSD? Would Piers still be able to deal with the trauma like he did with the older soldiers if he saw what happened to his commander? Saw the pathetic state he was in now, sleeping on that bed with Piers unable to help him?

Something tells me he would handle it differently then.

That is the purpose of this story.

PiersxChris, and someone elsexChris that I'm not going to spoil (so read it! :D)

-x-

_It's been... three hours._

Piers sighed as he checked the time again.

_Five minutes ago... six minutes ago... eight minutes ago... twenty minutes ago.._

Piers with some difficulty looked away from Chris, who was resting in a hospital bed after being airlifted to some local hospital in Edonia. Piers started pacing again; he just couldn't stand sitting down with his mind reeling so much. He hoped that Chris would be alright, he would be fine soon and back to his normal self, he _wasn't_ in a coma... that wasn't possible-

He _can't _be in a coma, _he can't be in a coma, he can't..._

Piers looked at Chris again and then at the clock.

_Three minutes. _

Piers frowned at his new record while he stiffly walked over to the side of Chris' bed and looked down at him.

"C'mon, Captain. Wake up." He knew it was futile. He stared down at Chris coldly, who looked so helpless and un-Captainlike. A heavy pain overcame him and pounded into Piers' heart. Out of this ordeal, only Chris and himself made it out alive, and Chris only barely.

_"Captain, why couldn't you shoot and defend yourself? You should have."_

For some reason Piers hoped Chris would somehow wake up and answer, as ridiculous as it sounded. But Piers _needed _Chris to wake up. The point of his mission other than the obvious- destroying B.O.W.s and directing the new members of their squad- was protecting Chris, and Chris to a lesser extent protecting _him_. And look what happened. Piers got out of it with barely a scratch and a few bruises, but Chris, his _Captain..._

"I failed you, Captain. I'm sorry..." Piers said softly, reaching his fingers out to touch Chris' face. He still didn't stir.

"If only I reacted quicker when I saw you just stand there, not doing anything... dammit, Captain! This should have happened to _me_, not you!" Piers balled his hands into fists and his whole body trembled, tensing with anxiety.

"I shouldn't have trusted Finn to keep an eye on that woman! I was blinded by trying to make sure you were always safe, even though you also told me to keep an eye on her. But I didn't. I've never missed a single shot in the field, but who would've thought the first time I follow my stupid heart instead of your direct orders, _this... _would happen..."

Piers tightly gripped the edge of the hospital bed with his hands. He bent over and tried to suppress that tight, burning feeling in his gut that made him feel nauseous and even more angry. He gazed toward Chris' eyes, which were still closed, and Piers felt his words suddenly become filled with urgent emotion.

"Captain, I can't lose you! Everyone else is dead! If you're gone, then who the hell else is going to lead? Dammit..."

Piers felt a film of hot tears cover over his eyes, threatening to spill out, and he moaned in anguish.

"Captain, you need to live! We need to be on the battlefield together again, eliminating B.O.W.s! The world needs us. Needs _you_. Captain, you can't be replaced- you're the best there is. I'll never be as good as you! Captain, _I_ need you."

Piers put his hand on Chris' arm and squeezed gently. He leaned closer down to Chris, hoping with all his might that somewhere in there Chris could hear his pleas.

"You... you're the _reason_ I joined the BSAA! You personally picked me to be your second-in-command. Where would I be now if it weren't for you?" Piers' clouded eyes pored over Chris' slumbering body.

"I would... I would still be at target practice, like before, not going anywhere... but then you came along, no one other than the legendary Chris Redfield, to take me around the world with you to fight bioterrorism. Do you have any idea what an honor that is for me? Every day I dreamed of the opportunity to just be able to _talk_ to you, and I was so happy when you picked me...

You didn't... you didn't even need to come up to me, you just watched me for a few minutes, and then..." Piers' tears fell down onto the bedsheets.

"Then... then you just turned to my commander and said, 'that kid shows promise. In a week he'll be in the BSAA, so get him ready'."

Piers stood up straight again and looked at Chris' face, who was still unmoving.

"... I... was so surprised by what you said that I almost dropped my rifle on the ground. Then you walked up to me and said..."

_'You're going to work with me soon, so you better train hard, soldier. What's your name?'_

_Piers looked up into Chris' eyes with a light shining brightly within them._

_'Piers. Piers Nivans.' _

_Chris nodded at him with a smile._

_'And I'm-.'_

_'Chris Redfield. ...I already know.'_

"Pi...inn..." Chris weakly muttered and Piers blinked in shock; so shocked he stopped breathing altogether. Had his Captain finally woken up? Piers waited expectantly for a few seconds, elated, but Chris didn't say anything else. The seconds slowly ticked by, then minutes, and Piers finally huffed an angry sigh and sat down in a chair next to the bed. He vowed to not move again until Chris did, and he wasn't going to think about anything else but him in the meantime.

He loved Chris, he knew deep in his heart that he did. But what would it matter if that person never could know that you loved them? Piers slowly closed his eyes and sank down into the chair. He would never forgive himself if Chris didn't open his eyes again. He already couldn't, and he felt like time would only make those wounds worse.

That's it. Piers was leaving the BSAA after all of this was over.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, thank you so much for all the reviews and the support! I wasn't expecting responses so fast~ *hurries to finish chapter 4* Another thing, this site messed up the formatting for these chapters and I can't seem to fix it. I can't skip a few lines to break up what is happening anymore. If you have ideas on how to fix it, I'd love to know about them. :) For now I'll just put something like -x- to denote change in scene, etc.

-x-

_Rustle._

A few seconds later-

_Rustle, rustle._

Piers was shaken out of his thoughts and he looked over at Chris. Chris' feet kicked around a bit under the sheets and he rolled over onto his side. He made small sounds, causing Piers to quickly stand up and walk around to the other side of the bed to hear what he was saying.

"...Es...er..." he mumbled, making weird sounds that almost sounded like a dog yelping, having a nightmare. Chris rolled partway onto his stomach and moved his hand, gripping the sheets closer to his chest. He had a pained expression on his face.

"N...o..." his head moved slightly in a jerking movement. "Esker..." He rolled onto his back again, beads of sweat starting to form on his face. _'Esker?'_ Piers thought, trying to figure out what Chris was saying. Piers noticed Chris was breathing heavier and he was using his mouth to inhale instead of his nose. He looked so...

"Wesk...er..." Chris murmured between faltering breaths.

"Wesker?" Piers said, entirely curious about why Chris was dreaming about him. Piers stepped closer and put a hand on his shoulder.

-x-

And Chris opened his eyes.

-x-

But Piers didn't see his Captain in them. All he saw was... Confusion, fright, surprise.

"Who are you?" Chris asked with his eyes wide, moving away from Piers and trying to sit up. Piers looked back at him sorrowfully, realizing what happened to Chris. He let his hand slide off Chris' shoulder when he moved away, but didn't break eye-contact.

"Captain?" Piers was worried about Chris' mental state.

Chris narrowed his eyes. "'_Captain'_? I'm only a-" Chris scoffed, but suddenly stopped mid-sentence with a wince. He lifted his hand up to the side of his head and groaned.

"What... happened...?" he asked to no one in particular. He really didn't understand...

"You _are _a Captain. My Captain. What is the last thing you remember?"

Chris' eyes flew back up to Piers questioningly.

"Who _are _you?" Chris said with force, starting to feel apprehensive. Piers sighed, deeply saddened by the situation.

"Piers... Piers Nivans. We're part of the BSAA- the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance. That _you _founded." Piers really wanted to elaborate but thought it might be better to have him remember only bits at a time so it would make more sense. Chris looked at him with a blank expression.

"I've never heard of you. Or the BSAA. Are you here to deceive me? Where's Jill, and Wesker, and Barry..." Piers' eyes narrowed. _Wesker. That man again._

Chris looked around the room, as if they'd suddenly appear next to him.

Piers slammed his hands on the edge of the bed in exasperation.

"Captain! That was years ago! This is now- you're not in the past anymore! Wesker is dead, you killed him!"

Chris' gaze snapped back to Piers' in shock. "He's... _dead_?" Chris asked in a naive tone. Seeing Chris like this was making Piers' anger and worry reach the breaking point. He brought his face closer to Chris, part of his body hovering over the bed.

"_Look at me_."

Chris saw Piers' scowl and shrank back slightly, looking away from him in sullen defiance. But Piers wouldn't let Chris keep avoiding him.

"I said, LOOK AT ME!"

Piers grabbed the side of Chris' face and yanked it back toward his direction. Along with this action, one of Piers' knees got on top of the bed as well as half his body. His face was so close to Chris', and he stared harshly right into Chris' eyes. This startled and frightened Chris; it reminded him so much of-

"I... I don't know who you are... so don't touch me," Chris said, warily taking Piers' hand off his face and pushed his shoulders away. Piers backed off and put his feet down on the floor again, studying Chris with sorrow and betrayal present in his eyes. Chris didnt even get angry when Piers touched him. He just seemed... depressed? No, that wasn't the word...

"You may not remember everything now, Captain, but I do. I'm not leaving this hospital until you do, too."

Chris just looked at him with disinterest. "Then leave me alone. I've remembered everything I need to."

Chris looked away apathetically and laid back down on the bed again. He visibly seemed bothered by something. Piers clenched one of his hands tight, his nails digging into his palm.

"Fine. I see how much I mean to you. You just want to piss away our time together as partners; alright. I can deal with that. ...But it will be hard. Goodbye, _Chris_."

Piers went for the door and didn't look back. However, he held his hand on the doorknob for a moment and hesitated before opening it. He felt Chris' eyes digging into his back, and took note of it before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. He pressed his back against the wall next to the door and exhaled deeply. He hoped the way he forced himself to react would spark something in Chris, some type of recognition, anything. He felt an even deeper pang of guilt entrap his heart. Just the thought of Chris honestly not knowing who Piers was anymore, _that _hurt more than anything else.

But Chris _was _starting to remember. Remembering the wrong things and blocking out the right things. Chris stared at the closed door, so sharply he thought he would burn right through it. He wanted to say something to Piers before he left, he really wanted to, but nothing would come out. He had the weirdest feeling that he would regret pushing this person away.

But he didn't know why.

Chris sighed and closed his eyes, trying to get some rest. He didn't know if Piers would ever come back, but he hoped he would. His head swam with confusing, conflicting thoughts that he couldn't sort out, no matter how long he thought about them- and Piers provided some clarity, even though Chris made him leave. Damn it, why did he do that? Chris knew he was afraid of something, but of course like everything else he couldn't figure out why.

Why.

_'Why...'_

Chris wished he could leave the room and make Piers come back inside, but he was probably long gone now. And he still had IVs stuck in his arm.

Sigh.

_'That guy, and Wesker. Why are they so similar... They both gave me that same dangerous feeling, but...'_

Chris' head was starting to hurt again, this time it being caused by thinking too hard and not from his external injuries. He tried to force himself to sleep again but it was going to be quite hard to, for the moment. He pressed the nurse call button.

-x-

Piers nodded to the nurse that passed by him in the hallway.

"He's awake now."

The nurse nodded back to him and stopped in front of the door leading to Chris' room.

"Alright, well I'll check up on him to determine if he still needs intravenous medication. I'd still advise for him to stay here for the night, though." The nurse turned her head to face Piers.

"I assume you're going to stay overnight with him? He's in pretty bad shape."

Piers looked back at her. A few things crossed Piers' mind at the same time.

"...Yes. I'll stay here with him. He has no one else."

The nurse nodded somberly at him. "Well, you're really supportive to stay with him. I bet he appreciates it." The nurse opened the door and walked into the room. Piers frowned at the empty space the nurse used to stand in.

_'You don't know the half of it, Lady.'_

-x-

The nurse went to Chris' bedside and checked his vitals. _'He is stable...'_

"Okay, you don't need these anymore, so just hold out your arm for me..." The nurse carefully removed the needles from Chris' veins and put away the IV equipment, wheeling the cart into a corner and tossing the empty bag into the trash and the needles in the safety disposal box. Chris watched her for a moment.

"Hey, Nurse."

She turned to him.

"Yes?"

Chris had to think about what he was even going to say. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to know, but he ended up asking anyway; not caring if the result was positive or negative.

"Is he still here or did he leave?"

The nurse was quiet until she realized who he was referring to. She had an inkling that maybe they had a fight.

"Yes, he's still here. He's worried about you."

Chris looked at the doorway for a few seconds, and then back at her. "...If you see him again, can you tell him that I want him to come back in here?"

The nurse smiled at him. "Of course. Anything else?"

"Yeah. I'm having trouble sleeping. Do you have anything for that?"

The nurse turned to leave the room.

"We do. I'll be back soon."

After she left, Chris started to stare at the ceiling. It wouldn't do a nurse much good to chase down a guy that just left the hospital, but at least he had hope that she could find him by chance. He didn't put much realistic stock in it though because he assumed she would just be busy with more patients or something.

_Oh well._

Chris thought back to when Piers was on the bed with him and closed his eyes. That guy was so angry with him for some reason. But...

He saw something in Piers that...

_'No.. no way...'_

Chris was reminded of those many times when Wesker did the very same thing to him-

_Grab his chin, force him to look at him, and..._

-x-

"He is worried about you."

The nurse put her hand on Piers' shoulder as she walked by him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"He wants you to come back into the room."

Piers' eyes widened. "Really?"

The nurse smiled sadly at him.

"I saw it in his eyes. He also asked about sleeping medication because he was having trouble... he was probably thinking about you."

Piers heard a nonexistant emphasis on 'you'.

_You._

_'Piers, you idiot.'_

_"He's worried about you."_

_"Why aren't you in there already?"_

"Thank you," Piers said, and the nurse walked away. He ran a hand over his face. _'He wants to see me?'_

He turned toward the doorway, debating on whether to go in, and found himself walking the opposite direction instead. He was walking away from Chris. Away from his second chance.

_'No, I can't...'_

Piers went down the hallway and into a restroom. He just couldn't, not yet. He couldn't bear to go in there again with the possibility of Chris thinking he was a complete stranger. He couldn't deal with that pain.

_'Not yet...'_

He relieved himself in a urinal then washed his hands, and went back across the restroom to sit on a toilet seat in a stall. He ran his hands through his hair, the long spikes that stood up in the front.

The hairstyle that Chris liked.

-x-

_"That looks good on you."_

_Piers turned around, half his bangs still hanging down over his face._

_"It does?"_

_Chris smirked at him, taking Piers' Bluetooth phone out of his hand and looked at himself through the camera feature that Piers was using as a surrogate mirror. He took a picture of himself then handed it back to Piers._

_"Yeah. Everyone else here has short hair, standard military-cut. It suits you, makes you stand out."_

_Piers smiled._

_"Thank you, Captain."_

-x-

Piers took out his phone from his pants pocket and put in the digital passcode to unlock it. He stared at the background picture. _His _smiling face.

_'Chris...'_

Piers stood up.

_'I have to do this. I have to do it for you. You have to remember.'_

Piers walked back to Chris' hospital room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 cover pic: (delete all the _ to see the link, also I didn't draw this)

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Thank you so much guys! You're making me want to type more like I've never typed before! Thank you, thank youuu for keeping me motivated :DD

-x-

The nurse asked Piers to come back into the room on Chris' behalf, so he did. Chris was asleep again. At least he didn't have to have those needles stuck in his arm anymore.

Piers wondered how long Chris had been asleep. Should he wake him up? He did want him back here, after all...

"Aah..." moaned Chris, his face contorting slightly. It was only a short stacatto, but Piers looked behind himself anyway to make sure the door was closed. The nurse passed by Piers again earlier when guiding a new patient into a room and said Chris wouldn't be bothered the rest of the night so he could rest unless he pressed the nurse call button again. Piers still felt nervous though, a prickly feeling on the back of his neck bristling his hair up. _Anyone _could walk in and see Chris sleep-talking. It was so... awkward.

_Yeah right._

A burning feeling came over Piers' cheeks.

_Stop lying to yourself. You just don't want to be caught WITH him._

"Hahh..." Chris let out a soft, drawn-out moan. Piers found himself suddenly standing next to Chris without thinking about it. He leaned down near Chris' face with one hand resting on the pillow next to him and said something specific in his ear.

"Wesker?" he said simply, pondering what would happen. Chris' abdomen jerked up unconsciously and he put his palms in the air. He seemed to be struggling. "N...No..." he pleaded, barely audibly. He shook his head side to side. Piers watched him for a while before trying again.

"_Weeskerr_..." he hissed, purposely sounding sensuous this time.

"A-aah...!" Chris' head fell to the side and his back arched slightly. He moaned unrestrainedly, his mouth open and sounding _so _lewd. Piers stared at Chris' lips, how he erotically panted while parting them...

Somehow, Piers was on top of Chris. He didn't know when it happened, didn't care. He _wanted _Chris.

_Now_. His _Captain, _damn it all.

_"Chriiiis..."_ he whispered hotly into his ear.

"Uhh-nn!" Chris gasped, his body twitching underneath Piers. His hands came up to both sides of his head and he rested them palm-up on the sides of the pillow.

_'So he was submissive to Wesker...'_

Piers watched his face. Chris slightly shook his head side to side again and elicited soft pants. Piers wished he knew exactly what Chris was dreaming of, but he sought to attempt replicating it in his own way. He needed to see how far this went, he needed to know what Wesker did; there was just no turning back now from this opportunity.

Piers grabbed Chris' exposed wrists and pinned them to the bed.

"Chris, I _want you_." Piers let all his emotions flow into his words. Desperation flooded into him when Chris didn't resist. This moment was too irresistable. He had to become Wesker, or this fantasy would never play out properly. He just had to.

_He had to know if..._

"Give yourself to me." Piers commanded, tightening his grip around Chris' wrists and pressing the side of his face against his.

Chris whimpered and opened his mouth again to moan. "A-ah..." He turned his head away, exposing his neck. Piers lowered his lips over Chris' flesh, manipulating it with his teeth and tongue like an animal.

"_Moan_, Chris. You are mine, and _will _be mine. _Only _mine."

A sound of pleasure erupted from the depths of Chris' throat, so needy and hot.

"Wes...ker... hahh..."

Piers lifted his head up to look at Chris' face, a slight flicker of anger crossing his features as he heard Chris moan his past lover's name.

"_Yes._"

Piers would do anything to have Chris say _his _name, instead of that fucking Wesker. He wanted to punch him in the face, if he was still alive.

Piers was so jealous, so burningly jealous that it consumed him, made his whole body feel on fire. Why couldn't Piers be the one to kill Wesker for hurting Chris like this.

Like he was doing _right now_ to him.

Piers was consumed by an even hotter anger as he closed his mouth over Chris', dipping his tongue into his warm cavern that he was invited into without pause.

_'You would never let me kiss you like this, you bastard. Only Wesker can.'_

Chris moaned into Piers' mouth, and despite his rage Piers felt his eyelids flutter shut in pleasure and he moaned back, as passionately as Chris.

_'The fuck he's so important to you? He abused you and you killed him. So why the hell...'_

"WESKER!"

Chris shouted, his eyes flying open. Piers froze in place. Chris froze. Time froze. Hell, _life _froze. They both felt like they were statues, staring into each other's eyes and not being able to process anything anymore.

Piers wished he was dead that instant.

_'Oh, GOD.'_

The only thing Piers could think about rang in his ears.

_'He will never want to see me again.'_

Piers had a feeling of wanting to flee running all throughout his body, adrenaline wanting him to run over and jump out the second story window.

_'No, no nononononono-'_

Chris blinked and that simple action gave Piers the ability to shake off his inertia. He took immediate haste and jumped off of him and off the bed, taking a few steps back and turning around. He put a hand up to his mouth and felt as if he was going to vomit.

What the _hell_, did he just do.

_To Chris._

"Stop!"

A hand flew out and grabbed Piers' arm.

"Wait."

Chris pulled Piers toward him, Piers' hand coming off his mouth in the process.

Piers looked at him like a deer in headlights. He tried to turn around again and shrug off Chris, but it only made Chris suddenly sit up and grab Piers' shoulder instead from behind. He pulled him back toward him and spun him around with the force of it and saw something he really didn't expect.

Piers' scarf fell down out of place, hanging lower than usual, and Chris saw a scar cut across part of Piers' neck.

"That's..." Chris said in a genuine, surprised tone, recognizing it. His hand automatically went up to it and his fingers stroked it.

Piers' gaze fell, not feeling like looking past his eyelashes anymore. Chris remembered. _That _was great, but...

-x-

_"You've said before that you like it rough." Piers said lowly into Chris' ear, not even attempting to mask his rising lust as his blood-spattered thighs roughly caressed against Chris' erection through his pants._

_"I don't mind."_

_Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil  
A little cut and you're turned on._


	4. Chapter 4

There's no way this website will allow this chapter's cover picture, even this edited version: (I did not draw this)

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dirty version: (even here, half the actual picture is cropped out...)

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(You have to delete all the _ and then the links will work, this is just another example of this site being idiotic)

This picture I wanted as my cover too, but I can't decide which one is better! They both fit lol I guess this makes up for Chapter 2's lack of a picture...

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These pictures I actually found AFTER uploading the chapters. It was a fun challenge for me to look through a lot of awesome PiersxChris art until I found some that were specifically described in this story.

This chapter is really dark, and it's where the story finally starts to resemble my PiersxChris video. The formatting on this chapter is CRAZY, I think it's annoying seeing -x- everywhere because that's not how the chapter was originally supposed to look! ;-; It's supposed to be prettily-spaced and give thought-provoking moments, so damn you stupid site for ruining it! I apologize for the formatting crapfest that is this chapter :'(

Anyway, enjoy, if it doesn't hurt your eyes~

-x-

_Chris stared at Piers with hardened eyes. _

_"You'll regret getting close to me, Piers. Look what I already did, and it was an accident."_

-x-

"You're..." Chris pulled on Piers' scarf to bring him closer. The material loosened again around his neck and came away into Chris' hand. Piers' gaze shifted up meekly to look at the scarf, but at nothing else.

-x-

_Piers looked up at Chris with misted eyes. _

_"Then hurt me more. I'll take it." Piers smiled, delusionistically sincere._

-x-

Chris ran his thumb over the material of the scarf, looking down at it for a moment. He slowly looked up at Piers and saw he was already staring at his face with tears in his eyes.

-x-

_"Ah! C-Captain..." Chris dug his tongue into the wound. It hurt. _

_So __**fucking **__bad. _

_Chris didn't feel sorry. He did feel bad though that Piers tried to enjoy it. Even through all the pain, he still held respect for his superior. 'Typical. Poor kid.' _

-x-

Chris' eyes steadily grew wider as he opened his mouth in shock. His hand loosened its grip on the scarf and Piers stepped forward, getting closer.

-x-

_"Th-thank you, Captain..." Chris halted his movement. He took his tongue out of the cut he inflicted and stared coldly at Piers' face. That fucking smile. The brightness in his eyes. That love, admiration he clearly displayed for him. Even when... _

_**Sickening.**_

-x-

Piers gingerly took the scarf out of Chris' hand.

-x-

_Chris shoved Piers away, finally releasing his grip on Piers' long-bruising arm._

_"You're thanking me? For what?"_

_"You... you stopped the bleeding."_

_Piers looked down at his forearm and gently brushed his fingers along the bruise that was quickly forming after being freed from its constant restriction of bloodflow._

_"I accept your apology..."_

-x-

Piers watched emotions he had never seen Chris show before scrawl across his face.

He looked remorseful, guilty.

_Sad._

_'Maybe now he's as sad as I've been for a long time...'_

-x-

_Chris growled and grabbed Piers by the throat. He made sure to dig his fingers harshly into the gash, making it start to bleed again and flow past his fingers. He threw Piers onto the ground without mercy, disregarding his yelps of pain._

_"I'm not sorry."_

-x-

"Piers..."

-x-

_The back of Piers' head hit the concrete laying beneath the shabby Bosnian carpet. Dust flew up into the air, and all the wind was knocked from his lungs. He lay still for a few seconds before he shakily tried to get up. He managed to get somewhat into a fetal position before Chris approached him._

_"Stay there."_

-x-

Chris reached up and grabbed the sides of Piers' face. He stared into his eyes for several long moments, absorbing and memorizing the turbulent emotions being displayed for him. He found himself empathically mimicing them, his eyes tearing up as he slowly pulled Piers down into a soft, mournful kiss. Piers put his hand on the bed to keep from falling on top of him.

-x-

_"Captain?" Piers looked up at him with bleary eyes._

_Chris towered over him, expressionless. "I have hurt you."_

-x-

Piers started to slide his leg up over the bed and Chris grabbed it instinctively, pulling Piers onto the bed with him.

-x-

_"I can't be with you."_

-x-

It was an unconscious response by now.

-x-

_"Yes, you can!"_

_Piers stared up at Chris._

_"I don't care what happens to me, I just want you to be happy!" _

-x-

Piers kissed Chris as he moved his hands around Chris' head, holding the scarf in one of them. He sat in Chris' lap, methodically rising up to rest on his knees to keep unneeded pressure off of Chris' recooperating body. But after every few kisses his hips would dip back down, rubbing up against Chris' stomach and back down to his crotch. Those mere, fleeting seconds of their bodies touching was more than enough for Chris to know.

-x-

_Piers crawled forward and grabbed Chris' pants legs. Chris kicked him away._

-x-

Chris felt the scarf press against the back of his head as Piers wrapped the ends around the top half of his face and then back around behind him again.

Piers tied the scarf tightly into a knot, and Chris could no longer see.

-x-

_Chris got on top of Piers and started to unbuckle the belts on Piers' vest, unzip it and loosened his belt as well, quickly followed by Chris' own._

-x-

Piers held onto the ends of the scarf sticking out of the knot and kissed Chris- short, greedy kisses that made smacking sounds every time he retreated. He pulled Chris' head back by the knot every time he did it to create more of an effect.

-x-

_"Don't you realize, Piers? I can't ever be happy, I never will be. Not with you, not with anybody._

_Not even myself."_

-x-

"You hurt me." Piers slowly started to push Chris down onto the bed with one of his hands, while the other one went down to rest on Chris' thigh, fingering smooth patterns into him through the blanket. He kissed him a few more times, sucking on his lips when he brought his mouth away, relishing the small gasps of pleasure that Chris gave to him. Those lips that didn't lie about what he felt, unlike his eyes.

"You hurt me, so much."

-x-

Fractured memories tore through Chris' mind at such a speed he couldn't process what he was remembering.

_Blood. Blood everywhere._

_Chris looked at his hand. It was fine. He looked at his other hand; it was covered in red._

_"What...?"_

_The scenery around Chris started to spin and he felt really nauseous. Then he heard a serpentile hiss in his ear._

_"That's __**your **__blood, Chris. Don't you remember it?"_

_Chris quickly turned his head around, seeing nothing but air behind him._

_He turned his head back around to the front and suddenly his cheek was pressed into the cold marble floor, a boot slamming down on the side of his head._

_Chris looked up as best he could from the corner of his eye. There was Wesker, still clad in his S.T.A.R.S. uniform, appearing out of nowhere. _

_Chris was wearing nothing._

_Wesker looked down at him, full of livid spite, grinding his boot treads painfully into Chris' face._

_"Stay down there, Chris. You still haven't suffered enough."_

-x-

"Uh...uhnn..." Chris moaned, breathless. He sounded high-pitched, desperate. He arched his back up into Piers, who was stroking him candidly underneath the covers.

He didn't even notice when Piers started to do that.

Chris was off in another world, on a different planet, shuddering and whining for his release without forming actual words. But he didn't need to say words for Piers to understand it.

Piers just looked down at him hysterically while he stroked him off.

Those eyes filled with love for someone else.

He couldn't bear to look at them anymore.

That mouth that could feel pleasure and lust for someone else.

Piers looked away from Chris' face.

He couldn't bear to look at Chris' semi-naked body underneath him, either.

He couldn't face the fact...

...that Chris couldn't be his.


	5. Chapter 5 (Good Version)

Thank you to everyone who responded! This story will eventually have both a "Good Ending" and a "Bad Ending", but I still have to decide if I'm going to totally finish the good version first before working on the bad version, or just upload the bad version of chapter 5 next.

I replaced the original chapter 5 with this one, where I asked reviewers to help me decide how to continue this story. I've got it mostly figured out now, with only the problem above remaining.

If you're interested in listening to the song mentioned in this chapter, you can listen to it here: (delete all the _ to see)

repeatyoutube_._com_/watch?v=2VFJB-ZeVqM

-x-

"Chris, can you hear me?"

Piers kissed up Chris' neck and brushed his lips over his ear while he spoke.

"I'm not going to abuse you again, like he did."

His fingers traveled down the other side of Chris' neck, nails gently tracing over the hickeys he left when Chris was asleep earlier.

Piers moved his mouth across Chris' cheek and kissed the side of Chris' mouth, the hot breaths Chris was panting tickling against his lips.

"I love you."

-x-

"AHHHH!" Chris groaned, coming into Piers' hand. Piers slowly took his hand out of the covers and looked around the room, trying to find something to wipe his hand off with. Chris heard the bed creak and the weight on it shift around and knew what Piers was trying to do.

"Don't leave me."

Piers turned his head and looked at Chris in wonder.

"Why?" Piers questioned, his voice quiet and soft. He had a feeling that...

"Because..." Chris panted sporadically, trying to control his breathing. His voice was husky, ragged from pleasure.

One of his hands moved around on the bed, trying to find Piers. Piers grinned, a small playful smile turning up his lips. He bent down again over Chris, making sure this time to move his body out of the way of Chris' roaming hand. He kissed Chris on the cheek, moving his lips across rough stubble and humming a pleased tone.

"You came for me," Piers said almost in a giddy whisper. Chris sucked in a breath and lifted his hand into the air, concentrating on groping around blindly until he found him. Piers saw how flustered Chris was becoming and finally pressed the side of his face into Chris' palm to ease his anxiety. With his unsullied hand he cradled Chris' hand closer to him.

"Do you remember, Captain?"

Piers moved Chris' hand across his face, moving his fingers across his lips.

"Do you remember what I feel like? What I sound like?"

Chris gasped.

Piers took that as a 'yes'.

-x-

_They were in a helicopter with the rest of their unit, the pilot blasting Van Halen music from the speakers in the cockpit while they flew over Ecuador. Piers started singing "Runnin' With the Devil" when it was playing and a few seconds later Chris joined in, adding a scratchy bass to Piers' smooth baritone. The rest of the soldiers lent their voice to it as well, mostly humming and letting Chris and Piers take the lead until it got to the chorus, where they all equally pitched in enthusiastically. It was always how they got hyped up before their missions, letting their emotions flow into the songs they chose to wash away their anxiety and fear about what they'd be up against in the coming hours. Piers first suggested they do this a few missions ago, and it had worked wonders for morale ever since._

_It was one of the many things Piers contributed to the BSAA that made Chris truly proud to have him around._

_They'd take turns picking a song in round-robin fashion until they landed at their destination. The majority of the songs were rock music, and a few times it was country or even the target nation's local music when they flew over a place where they could get a radio signal, but they always came back to rock. It always gave them just the right type of energy they needed to press on and fulfill their duties._

_Midway through the song during the guitar solo, Chris gave Piers an intriguing look. He stared flirtatiously into Piers' eyes, waiting for him to notice. Which only took a few seconds; Piers was shimmying left to right in the seat across from him holding an imaginary microphone in his hand, singing with soul and energetic feeling. He saw that certain glint in Chris' eyes out of the corner of his own as he finished the verse he was on. He met Chris' gaze, and watched as it slowly traveled down his face and throat. Chris stopped there, not going further, then pretended to look out of one of the windows of the helicopter. His gaze unfocused though and he really was only paying attention to Piers. It was their code, and Chris didn't want his other men to become suspicious._

-x-

Chris moved his fingers around Piers' mouth.

"Piers, sing for me."

Piers' hand drifted away from Chris' hand and down his arm in awe at his returning memory, and Chris felt Piers open his mouth.

-x-

_"Ahnn~!"_

_After that mission, and not even five minutes after everyone settled into their individual hotel rooms for the night, Chris threw open the door to Piers' room and silenced his sound of surprise with ravishing kisses. Chris turned Piers around and moved with him out of the doorway, pressing him against the wall while he closed the door again and locked it. Piers broke their kiss with an unabashed moan, panting softly._

_"Mm, can't get enough of me, can you, Captain?"_

_That coy smile of his drove Chris crazy._

_"You __**know **__I can't." Chris growled, staring at Piers with dark, hazed eyes. He intended it to sound serious but he ended up sounding much less so, a faltering and embarrassing whine trilling in his voice. He put his hands against the wall on either side of Piers' shoulders and started nipping at his neck and his throat, feeling his own heart pumping faster each time Piers mewled in pleasure._

_"Piers, I can't __**ever **__get enough of you," Chris trembled into Piers' ear, his confession revealing to the sniper just how turned on his commander was. Piers' eyes drifted shut, focusing on Chris' sensuous voice as it spoke so many desires to him._

-x-

"I live my life like there's no tomorrow..."

Chris darted his fingers inside Piers' mouth when he dragged out the last word, moving them over the tip of his tongue and retreating them just as quickly across Piers' teeth and out of his mouth, all before Piers even finished the note.

Piers stopped singing and flicked his gaze down at Chris in surprise, not expecting that to happen.

Chris was smiling.

"If you wanted a kiss, you could've just asked..." Piers quipped with amusement lacing his voice. He undid the knot that kept his scarf from falling down Chris' face and pulled it down below his chin. Chris looked up at him with the same brightness that Piers had shown him so many times before. He finished the first half of the verse for Piers.

"And all I've got, I had to steal..."

-x-

_"God, Piers, you make it so hard for me to lead my men when you make __**me **__so __**fucking hard **__all the time."_

_Chris stepped in, letting out a sultry moan as he rubbed his erection into Piers', rolling his hips forward and away from him a few times._

_Piers smiled and moaned back lecherously. Was Chris really a sex-machine or did Piers simply make him into one? Either way, he felt an elating twinge of pride from it._

_"Ahh, Captaaaain..." Piers purred, cupping and caressing Chris' crotch with one of his hands._

_"You've held it in all day for me, haven't you..."_

_Chris' eyes fluttered shut and he undid his belt, and then did the same for Piers. Piers followed him to the bed, where Chris laid Piers down on his back after they were stripped of all their clothes._

-x-

"I found the simple life weren't so simple..."

"When I jumped out, on that road-"

Chris suddenly stopped singing his part and took a serious tone. He grabbed Piers' arm gently to emphasize his point.

"You're all I have. Stay with me."

Piers simply smiled at him.

"Always."

Which really meant:

_'I want to steal your heart, Chris. You deserve better.'_

Chris smiled back at Piers, then his expression softened a bit, becoming somewhat somber.

"...But I have a problem."

Piers looked at where Chris was grabbing his arm, and then back to his face. It reminded him of how he was grabbed before, but it was much less forceful this time.

"I know you do. Do you want to talk about it?"

Chris was quiet for a moment. He didn't know if he was ready to admit the whole truth yet, so he changed the subject instead.

"I'm so sorry, Piers. I'm sorry for hurting you."

_I got no love, no love you'd call real  
Ain't got nobody, waitin' at home._


	6. Chapter 6 (Good Version)

I can't have the good version of this story be _entirely _happy. There has to be drama, somewhere, to keep it interesting until it can finally come to the good ending we all know we want. :) But I have to keep it realistic until then and not rush the story into something totally unbelievable like I was tempted to do.

Also, this chapter is dedicated to my friend Katze! Happy birthday hun! :D

Chapter 6 cover pic: (Delete all the _ to see)

ht_tp:/_/i50._tiny_pic._com_/n1qo1w._jpg

This was really fun to make! I found a lot of art other people drew and put them all together to make this. :)

-x-

Piers knew Chris was telling the truth. His eyes didn't betray his words, this time.

Piers was surprised.

"...Thank you." Piers started to move his arm away, and Chris let go of him, looking confused at what Piers said next.

"And I'm sorry for hurting you, too." Piers touched the hickeys on Chris' neck to jog his memory.

Chris' eyes slightly grew wide with uncomprehension.

"Wait... when-"

Piers averted his gaze, looking away and taking his fingers off Chris' neck. _'He really was out of it...'_

"I guess your problem is a bigger part of your life than I would have thought." After a few moments Piers slowly shifted his gaze back to Chris, finding the strength to finally confront him.

"Captain, you remember that day, but do you remember all the details? Do you even know why you attacked me?"

Piers pointed to the scar on his neck.

Chris blinked. He didn't know. He really believed he didn't.

But Piers believed Chris was just shutting out another painful memory.

Someday he would make him remember. It was the only way for him to get over it.

_'I want to heal you Chris...'_

Piers looked at Chris' perplexed face for a few more seconds before he rose up and started to get off the bed.

_'If only you'll let me...'_

As soon as Piers got up on his knees again, Chris noticed something that instantly grabbed his attention.

_'He didn't even touch himself...'_

"Piers." Piers didn't look at him, instead focusing on getting off the bed. Chris' hand moved up and grazed across Piers' crotch; Piers stopped for a second, glancing warily at him.

"Captain, you need to rest."

Chris looked back at him with a determined expression.

"No. I'll rest later. Come here."

Instead, Piers moved Chris' hand away and shook his head.

"Captain, we'll wait to do this until you're healed. I don't want you to push yourself. Please don't."

Chris frowned and moved his hand right back to its previous spot, unclasping Piers' belt.

"That's an _order_."

Piers closed his eyes, trying to push the fact that Chris was his superior out of his mind. Going against protocol. Direct defiance.

It was hard to do- knowing the consequences, _and doing it anyway._

"Captain... stop."

Chris huffed air out of his nose, ignoring him, and started unbuttoning and unzipping Piers' pants. "Why didn't you..." Chris started, pulling down Piers' pants, lowering them past his hips.

"Why didn't you touch yourself? You know how much it hurts keeping it like this."

Suddenly Piers retorted with a vehement tone, not expecting words like this to fly out of his mouth without thinking about them first.

"Why didn't _you_? Why didn't you ever touch me before?"

Piers blinked in surprise at his outburst and quickly looked away from Chris. Chris stopped what he was doing and cautiously looked up at Piers, who was avoiding eye-contact and suddenly seemed very shy.

"Piers, what are you talking about?"

Piers said nothing and got off the bed, turning away from him. He reversed everything Chris did, finally stopping after buckling up his belt again. He sighed.

"You're more important. You always were, and always are." Piers looked at his hand, then closed it to hide the evidence of Chris' orgasm.

"I'm... going to the restroom to wash my hand. Do you need anything else, Captain?"

Piers turned his head and shifted his gaze to look at Chris out of the corner of his eyes. Chris had never seen him like this before. Seeming so tense, guarded. Acting like this. Why...?

"Piers, what's wrong-" Chris started to say, but Piers quickly looked away again and walked toward the door.

"Please, get some rest." Piers said darkly, opening the door and closing it behind him.

-x-

Chris put his hands in his hair and he growled in frustration. What was with Piers just now? Did he make him angry? Again?

Chris thought hard. About everything. But it would be fruitless to him to find the answer until several minutes later, when certain memories finally came back to him. It confused him more than anything else ever did.

-x-

_'I said I would never leave him._

_Look what I did._

_I failed to tell him my feelings,_

_again.'_

It sounded like a poem, but in Piers' head, it was a mantra that was repeated over and over.

Over and over.

Chris cared about him.

Then he didn't care about him.

Piers was broken.

Then Chris mended him.

Piers made sure his white-covered hand was still closed as he quickly headed down the hall to the restroom. He also made sure that no one was coming his way, lest they see his still-obvious erection that for the last few minutes seriously started to hurt and chafe against its confines. But that whole while with Chris he tried to ignore it.

For once he had to care about himself and not Chris.

He had a second chance, a third chance, and blew them all away because he didn't have the courage to look Chris in the eyes and pour out his tortured soul to his. He just didn't know if Chris would understand, not yet. He couldn't risk it.

Piers entered the restroom and washed his hands in the sink, not daring to look at himself in the mirror. If he did, he would see just how close he was to having a breakdown. He didn't know how he was even keeping himself together still, and didn't want to chance letting go and falling apart here.

Chances, taking one or not, it didn't matter. It always ended in failure and misery.

-x-

Chris was in a fetal position on the bed, the sheets covering his body up to his waist. He had his elbows on his knees, hands in his hair and tugging at it as his internal pain was quickly resurfacing to match his external pain. He was in hell.

_"Ah! C-Captain...!" Piers' toes curled in, bracing himself for the roughness that was slowly entering him, filling him up. Piers' voice cracked and his head fell back onto the pillow as his back arched up, his muscles twitching, tensing up._

_"Ahhn!" Piers' face shifted, displaying a mixed expression of pain and ecstasy. His cheeks tinged pink as he wrapped his arms around Chris' back and held him closer._

_"It... it hurts..." he gasped into Chris' ear, panting and voice trembling._

_"You'll get used to it." Chris said gruffly as he retreated and slammed back in forcefully._

-x-

Piers locked himself in a stall and unzipped his pants. He cringed when he pulled it out. It hurt. Dammit it hurt.

His head hurt, too. It wasn't helping.

"Shit, Chris... why can't you remember?" He said under his breath, almost inaudible with the fan in the restroom so loud. He started to stroke himself, his cock twitching and pulsating pleasurably under his touch, but soon he stopped altogether. He put his forearm across one of the walls and rested his forehead against it.

"It... it doesn't feel right."

-x-

Over and over.

Chris cared about Wesker.

Then Chris didn't care what Wesker did.

Chris was broken.

Then he killed Wesker.

-x-

"Dammit, Chris!"

Piers punched the wall.

Piers hated how Chris could be so hot, and then so cold. He hated how Chris couldn't even remember that he _was_. He hated how this time he offered to pleasure him, when last time he received the cut on his neck and so much more pain than that. Chris' recent injuries and amnesia would only make the problem worse.

Piers never knew when would be the next time Chris would push him away, or pull him into an embrace. It always confused him, how even during a conversation Chris could suddenly yell at him, push him around, become entirely two-faced, hit him, whatever. Slowly though, Piers realized something. He sat on the toilet and looked at Chris' picture on his phone again.

-x-

"No, I..."

_"Ah... ah!"_

"Was that..."

_"Stop it!"_

"Was that me or Piers?"

Chris' thoughts blended together, different scenes playing out in his mind and suddenly changing into other ones again. He still couldn't make total sense of it.

_"Captain!"_

_"Captain...!"_

They sounded so alike, both yelling at the same time. _Chris _and _Piers _sounded so alike. Who was who, and who was where...?

_Red._

_Piers bleeding from who-knows-where__, crumpled on the floor, naked._

_Chris bleeding from his cuts, crumpled on the floor, bruised._

Where was who?

"Why? Why did I do that to Piers?"

"More like why did _you_ let me do it to you, Chris?"

Chris looked up in fright at hearing that truly unforgettable voice once again.

He was face-to-face with Wesker in the hospital room.


End file.
